Homecoming
by AnnaHuntsman
Summary: Five years after the reaper war the Normandy is finally found. As the crew prepare to rejoin the galaxy, Shepard waits anxiously for their return. But with so much time having passed can things be the same and how will they live with the decisions they all made in each other's absence
1. Chapter 1

"We've found the Normandy, they're coming home." There was a sudden intake of breath, audible even on the faint comms.

"All of them?" The voice shook as it asked the question.

"All of them."

***

Kaidan Alenko stared critically at himself in the mirror trying to be objective. His eyes narrowed briefly before he realised that only enhanced the lines on his forehead. The few strands of grey that had been visible in his hair five years ago had spread and he had to admit it was difficult to tell whether there was more grey or black these days. He sighed. There was no denying it, he looked forty.

There was a good reason for that of course, he was forty. But today he didn't want to look it. He had been thirty-two when they met, thirty-five when he last saw her, and he didn't want her to be shocked, or worse disappointed, in how he had changed. He turned sideways, at least he hadn't got fat, the early days of having to hunt or scavenge for food and then the long hours with nothing to do but exercise had kept his body in peak condition.

He turned back to the mirror and reached for a razor. As he picked it up he recalled that she had always liked him with a little stubble. He put it down again and ran a hand through his hair. Perhaps he should have dyed it? Well it was too late now and it would only have given Joker something else to make fun of.

Stepping away from the mirror he ran a hand over the pile of clothes on the bed. Dress blues? No, too formal, too much like he was trying. Not uniform at all, this wasn't a military event he reminded himself. He settled on a plain black t-shirt and jeans, not that there was much choice after five years of wear and tear. He went back to the mirror scowling at what he saw but admitting it wasn't going to get any better.

He looked down at his left hand, at the band of gold on his fourth finger. They had married quickly and in secret. The only witnesses had been strangers paid for their signatures on the marriage certificate and their silence. At first they had agreed to wear the rings on chains around their necks but after being stranded for a few months Kaidan hadn't seen the point of hiding it and had taken to wearing it openly. He wondered if she had done the same or if he should remove his. She hadn't had the freedom that came from total isolation from the Alliance and their regs. He decided to leave it on, if anyone asked he could say it was a family thing.

His voice had stayed remarkably steady when he'd asked the captain of the turian scout ship that had finally located the Normandy whether he knew if Commander Shepard had survived the battle in London. He had kept it together when he had been told that she had lived. But as soon as he was alone he'd leant against the sun warmed hull of the Normandy, slid down the metal and wept. Over the years he had hoped, prayed, begged gods that he didn't believe in, despaired, given up, raged and tried to be logical. Nothing had helped, he couldn't believe that she had died, but he also couldn't convince himself that anyone could have survived the crucible.

"Major Alenko, we will be docking in 5 minutes," the cold voice of the VI interrupted his preening. He missed EDI every time he heard the machine speak. He took a deep breath and headed out of the captain's cabin and into the elevator.

***

Garrus Vakarian held Tali's hand in his as they stood at the top of the ramp leading down to the Alliance dock below. Already engineers were swarming around the Normandy as the crew milled around at the base of the ramp, each being coralled into a medical evaluation room. It was strange to see the human homeworld so alive with activity after all that had happened.

"Are you ready?" Tali asked, looking up at him. He smiled at her, she looked so different in the new suit that she had been given since their rescue. Over the past five years the few suits that she had brought with her had been ripped and torn so many times that they resembled a patchwork quilt. The crew had donated all the plastic and materials that the could to the cause of keeping at least one suit airtight but it had been a losing battle. Infection after infection had assailed her and Garrus' heart had constricted in fear with each potentially fatal cough or sneeze. They had both known that their time together would most likely have been short had they been forced to remain isolated from quarian medical care. Dr Chakwas had done her best but in the end it would not have been enough. The fact that he would no longer have to worry about every passing sniffle had not sunk in quite yet.

"Just a moment, it feels strange to be leaving the Normandy after so long." Tali nodded.

"Strange. But wonderful." Garrus stared to where Kaidan stood leaning against a workbench while a woman took blood from the crook of his arm and a man ran through questions from a datapad. Tali followed his gaze.

"He's going to have a busy time of it," Garrus mused, "we're aliens to these people, we can just slip away. He'll have to explain what happened, the people we lost." Tali sighed.

"They won't blame him, they couldn't. The crew will back him to the end. I just hope..." she trailed off.

"I know," Garrus replied, he turned to face her, "you have no idea how often I wished that you'd been safe somewhere else rather than stuck on that damned planet with the rest of us. But having you there... it made things easier." Tali laughed.

"More comfortable you mean?" She said, swishing her hips suggestively as she spoke.

"Much," he said with a grin, "I meant that at least I knew you were... if not safe then at least alive. I can't imagine five years of not knowing one way or the other."

"You nearly didn't," Tali reminded him, "if Kaidan hadn't been injured on that final run to the crucible you and he would have been with Shepard and I'd have been stranded without you."

"Then Kaidan and Shepard would have been together. But I guess it worked out our way this time." Tali slapped him lightly on the arm.

"Garrus that's an awful thing to say."

"I know but it's true." They were silent for a moment.

"I just hope she's here." Tali said nervously.

"She will be." Garrus said confidently.

"She's had so little notice..." Tali continued.

"She wouldn't miss us coming back."

"It's been five years Garrus."

"She'd be here if it had been fifty." Tali shook her head.

"You always did believe she was perfect," she said with a smile, "her life will have moved on without us." Garrus paused to consider.

"I'm sure that's true, but that doesn't mean she won't care what happened to us."

"I know, of course she will. We just shouldn't expect too much from her." She said her eyes on Kaidan.

"You mean he shouldn't?" Garrus replied and she nodded, "Tali he's not a fool. He knows she might have moved on. It won't help him for us to remind him of it. Besides, Shepard is one of the most loyal people I have ever met, if he waited my money's on her having done the same."

***

"I'm sorry to hurry you," Kaidan snapped, finally interrupting the barrage of questions from the earnest young corporal with the datapad, "as you can imagine I'm keen to see my family. How much longer will this take?" The corporal looked taken aback.

"I'm sorry sir, there is quite a way to go yet," Kaidan sighed. The young man had wasted the first fifteen minutes of Kaidan's time off the ship telling him what an honour it was to meet him. The next three hours had been an unending stream of questions about every detail of what had happened since the Normandy had crash landed. Kaidan had answered them, patiently at first, but then less so as time dragged on and the other crew members were gradually ushered away to meet their visitors. When the medical examination was over Kaidan had expected to be allowed to leave.

"Corporal I understand that a full debrief is necessary," Kaidan said, "but can it not wait until I have had a chance to speak to my family and get some sleep? It has been a busy week." Kaidan's first question had been whether there was anyone there to meet him. The man had consulted his datapad and confirmed that Kaidan's mother was waiting for him and that she was alone. Kaidan's initial disappointment had given way to anxiousness to see her.

"I err..." the man stuttered. He was interrupted by a middle aged woman who approached at a brisk walk.

"Major Alenko, we need to borrow you for a moment," she said giving the corporal an annoyed look.

"We still have quite a lot of questions..." he protested.

"You can continue your questions tomorrow. Major Alenko is required elsewhere urgently. Come with me Major." Unsure whether to be grateful that he was being extracted from the interrogation or angry that he apparently had yet further commitments Kaidan followed her.

"I'm keen to see my family," he said as they walked quickly up a staircase and along corridors in the vast terminal.

"I understand," she said kindly, "but I have my orders."

"What orders?" Kaidan asked impatiently.

"You'll see in a moment," they arrived at a door guarded by two men in Alliance blue. The woman gestured for him to go inside and the men saluted as he past them. The door slid closed behind him.

The room was some form of waiting room. One wall was made entirely of glass and looked out over the city. Kaidan was not entirely sure which city, but the buildings were all new, clearly rebuilt since the war. Within the room three large sofas surrounded a glass table on which sat an empty teacup and a half eaten plate of cake. Kaidan's stomach rumbled at the sight, he had not eaten cake in years. At the window a woman stood with her back to him. Her thick dark hair hung in a braid down her back, reaching her waist. She wore a simple violet wrap dress that fell just above the knee and sensible short heels.

"Ma'am they said I should come..." she tensed at the sound of his voice and turned.

"Kaidan..." she began, her voice shaking. It was Shepard, but she looked so different from the woman he remembered. Her dark red hair was now a shade of deep chestnut. She looked softer, the angles of her face and body less pronounced, the muscles in her arms relaxed into femininity. The dress was so unlike her, flowing and almost girly. He noticed all this in a second as he crossed the room and pulled her into his arms.

She relaxed the moment his arms encircled her, breathing his familiar scent. Automatically her head came to rest on his shoulder feeling the firmness of his muscles beneath her cheek. Her arms wrapped themselves around his waist. She felt tears starting in her eyes and choked them back.

"I'm so sorry..." he began, she looked up and silenced him with a gentle finger to his lips.

"You have nothing to apologise for Kaidan," she said, "I... I should have searched harder. I tried but you were just gone. I thought you were dead." He shook his head wordlessly, tears in his eyes.

"I tried so hard to believe that you were alive, but I... it was difficult, after seeing the crucible explode." She let out a muffled chuckle.

"It takes more than the most powerful weapon ever conceived to put me down." He laughed.

"I know. I should have known." He brushed a tear from her cheek and she caught her breath at the skin to skin contact. To her, he looked just the same, so much so that her heart ached for those hours spent in his arms, trying to forget the galaxy falling apart around them. They seemed so long ago, another world.

"Alexa..." he murmered and her heart beat faster. She so rarely heard her real name these days, and to hear it from his lips, she longed to kiss him, to erase the distance of years between them. His lips met hers, gently at first, tentatively, then harder, with a hint of the passion of waiting so long.

"Kaidan stop," she said pulling away, her breathing ragged, "I can't do this."

"I'm sorry," he apologised quickly cursing himself, "it was too soon..."

"It's not that. Kaidan I'm married."


	2. Chapter 2

"Married?" He said the word as though he had no idea of its meaning. As soon as she had spoken he had let go of her and taken a step back.

"Kaidan I'm so sorry," she said desperate to erase the expression of betrayal on his face, "I thought you were dead. You were declared dead years ago. When I heard you were alive... it was such a shock." Kaidan's mind was spinning. He should have known, every so often a voice at the back of his mind had piped up to remind him of the possibility that she could have moved on. He had pushed it back down, too worried about whether she was alive to consider what it might mean if she was.

"I see." He said numbly.

"I waited Kaidan, I did, but it was hopeless. So many people tried to find the Normandy and there was nothing. I thought if such a vast search couldn't find you nothing would. I never thought I'd see you again." The words were rushing from her, there was no hint of her normal composure.

"I understand." He said in the same monotone.

"And there's noone... for you I mean?" She asked it almost hopefully.

"No." He replied flatly. "Not since you." She nodded, as soon as she'd heard he was alive she'd known there wouldn't have been. Part of her had hoped that he too would have found someone, that she hadn't been the only one to give up. That would have made the guilt easier. But she knew him, unless he'd seen her body himself he'd have clung to hope. When he'd walked in she'd immediately clocked the wedding ring on his finger and her heart had sunk.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again." She repeated uselessly.

"I don't understand, surely we were still married. How were you able to marry someone else?"

"You were declared dead," she said, "so I was free to remarry."

"And you're happy?" He asked. She hesitated.

"Yes, I am." She said finally, "Thomas is a good man and we... we have two kids." Kaidan swallowed, not a recent thing then, nothing he could easily brush aside.

"How old?" He asked. She frowned.

"Three and six months. A girl and then a boy." She replied. He forced a smile calculating backwards, a year, that was the longest she could have waited.

"I... I will be happy for you," he said, trying to control his voice, "it's just a lot to take in."

"Of course, shall we sit? I can get you a drink. Take your time." She gestured at the chairs and went to a counter to prepare his coffee as he liked it. Kaidan sank into a chair, all his willpower going into not burying his head in his hands. He tried to tell himself he should be happy. It was true that things had not turned out perfectly but if someone had told him a month ago that she was alive and happy he would have been ecstatic. Telling himself that didn't help.

"How's the crew?" She asked as she handed him his cup.

"It's been hard," he replied honestly, "we lost some people early on."

"I know," she said, "I've seen the reports from the crews that found you and brought you back. How's the squad?"

"Vega's the same, still a big kid, he'll bounceback quickly. Joker struggled after we lost EDI, he barely talks to me but physically he's better than you'd expect given his condition. Liara seemed to find the whole thing fascinating, it was hard for her, knowing she'd be on her own at the end if we'd been stuck, but she hid it well. Tali struggled, it was hard without quarian healthcare but she had Garrus to take care of her. They're inseperable now. Chakwas had a lot of work, I think that kept her sane. Traynor... I don't know what we'd have done without her, she kept us organised from day one. Cortez lost a leg, he took it hard, but that was years back." Shepard bit her lip.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there with you all." Kaidan snorted.

"I'm not. I wouldn't want you to have to go through something like that." She nodded and they trailed into silence.

"And here? I heard the gist of what you did, I'm so proud of you." She waved a hand dismissively.

"It was a team effort, you've all been awarded a lot of medals in your absence. It all seems a long time ago now, I barely feel like the same person."

"You look... I'm guessing you're not with the Alliance anymore." She ran her hands over her skirt self consciously.

"No, I was in the hospital for a long time afterwards, I didn't wake up for two months. Then there was a slow process of rehabilitation, the doctors were fantastic but it was a long road. I tried to go back to the Alliance when I was physically fit enough but I failed the psych evaluation. Twice. Turns out what we went through wasn't conducive to strong mental health." Her eyes were fixed on the ground, he wanted to take her hand but held himself back.

"You shouldn't be embarrassed, you gave more to the Alliance than anyone. It's not surprising that you weren't in a good place. You weren't the only one." Shepard nodded.

"It was a difficult time, I couldn't take the attention and the pressure, people were all over me all the time. I couldn't think about what to do next. It felt like... like I'd achieved the most important thing I ever could and everything I did from then on would be a disappointment. It was as though my life was over and I'd just failed to die when I should have done. I'd completely failed to plan for a life after the reapers, let alone after the Alliance. The only thing I thought was certain had vanished..." she glanced at him and he nodded his understanding. "So I left, went completely off grid. I settled in a frontier outpost and I met Thomas..."

"I don't think I'm ready to hear that part," Kaidan cut her off.

"Of course," she said, hurriedly changing the subject. "I went to see your mother when I was out of hospital. I wanted her to know how much you'd done to stop the reapers. She was so proud. She took your father's death well but your disappearance was more difficult for her. She never gave up looking for you."

"That was kind of you, thank you. Did you tell her about us?" Shepard shook her head.

"No, I didn't tell anyone on earth. There didn't seem any point with you still missing. I told her I was visiting the family of every member of the Normandy's crew. And then I felt I had to, so I did, at least as much as I could given how difficult travel was in those early days after the relays went down."

They made small talk, discussing the changes since the war with little interest. Kaidan had looked forward to telling her everything that had happened since they last saw one another, he wanted her to tell him that the decisions he'd made in her stead were the right ones. Now, he couldn't bear to tell her his fears and failings, it felt too intimate. He watched her as she talked, he could see her relaxing as time went on, clearly she had been tense about telling him the truth. Now she was regaining some of her self-assurance, as she did she looked more and more like the Shepard he remembered. He couldn't bear it.

"I should go," he said when there was a lull, "my mother has been waiting a long time."

"Oh," she said startled, "of course. Perhaps we could have lunch tomorrow?" She suggested. He checked the time.

"That may be difficult. It's already late, I doubt that my family will want to let me out of their sight so soon." Shepard laughed.

"Dinner then? I'm only in town for a few days, we had to take the kids out of school at short notice. I'm told there's a great sushi place nearby..." she trailed off as his expression darkened, "you don't want to?"

"I want to, I want to very much. I think that's why we shouldn't." She frowned.

"I see. Kaidan I really want us to be friends." He shook his head.

"I don't want to be your friend Alexa." He said flatly, she bit her lip.

"We have things to talk about."

"I can't see what, the crew is here, you can talk to them if you want to know the details of what happened. Our personal relationship seems to be over. We won't be working together. I think we've already said all we need to to each other. For the time being at least, maybe we can meet when things have had time to settle but for now I think it's best to keep our distance."

"If dinner's too much we can just get drinks..." she suggested hopefully.

"Alexa it's not a good idea." She sighed in frustration.

"I need to talk to you Kaidan."

"Anything you need to say you can say now." He said firmly. She paused, obviously considering.

"I really didn't want to do this today," she said annoyance clear in her voice. "I wanted to give you some time to think things through. I have had a lawyer consider our situation. It appears that technically speaking we are still married, obviously the declaration of your death has been overturned. It seems that means that my current marriage is invalid. I'm sure you agree that makes no sense. So in order to get things back on track we'll need to get a divorce." As she spoke she had retrieved a folder from the counter and held it out to him. He looked at it but didn't take it.

"You want to divorce me?" She winced.

"I wouldn't put it that way..." she protested.

"Let's not quibble, that's what your saying."

"It's not that I want to divorce you. I just want the legal situation to reflect reality. In reality I'm married to somebody else."

"Maybe in your reality, in mine I'm married to you," he snapped.

"Don't make this difficult," she begged.

"I am not making this difficult. It is difficult, I'm not making it that way. Alexa, until a couple of hours ago I had a wife that I adored and finally had some hope for a future. Forgive me if I'm finding this trying." His words were clipped.

"I understand that. I do. But this is happening, it's much easier if you just sign the forms but if you don't it will still happen. I have a life, a family, and I have to protect that. I'm so sorry that things have turned out like this, it wasn't what I wanted."

"Fine," he snapped snatching the file from her hand and slamming it onto the glass table which shook with the impact. He opened it and began reading. His heart was thundering. He felt panic. He desperately didn't want to sign it, but it was just a piece of paper, if he refused to sign it wouldn't change anything.

"You're going to read it all?" She asked uncertainly.

"Of course," he said without looking up, "my father taught me never to sign something I haven't read."

"It's all fairly standard," she said sitting back down opposite him, "I haven't asked for anything." He met her eyes.

"Asked for anything?" He said in confusion.

"Money I mean," she said awkwardly and he let out a bitter chuckle.

"Quite frankly Alexa I couldn't care less. I'm sure there's not much left anyway after the war."

"Kaidan... of course you wouldn't know. You should talk to your mother about that, there's a lot. A hell of a lot. You could see the greed in my lawyer's eyes as soon as I mentioned your last name. When I told her I didn't want any of it she bit my head off." Kaidan shrugged, thoroughly disinterested in the information and went back to reading the document while she waited in silence. She was right, the document was standard, terse and matter of fact. Until he got to the section headed "reason for divorce".

"Desertion?" He said angrily, "do you seriously expect me to sign a document that said I deserted you?"

"It seemed the most appropriate option..." she said weakly.

"I don't know," he said sarcastically, "adultery sounds more appropriate to me." Shepard grimaced.

"That is not fair." She said. "As far as I knew you were dead, it was hardly adultery."

"I wasn't dead. And you're telling me we were legally married. And you had two kids with another man. That sounds like adultery to me." Kaidan's voice was harsh. "I am not signing something that says I deserted you."

"Fine," she snapped, "put whatever you want, I don't care what it says so long as you sign it."

"Pen," he said tersely, extending a hand, she handed him a pen. He crossed out the word 'desertion' and hesitated. With a sigh he wrote 'irreconcilable differences' in neat script. He looked down at the page again.

"Are you sure about this?" He said meeting her gaze. She paused and then nodded. "I don't want to do this." He said hopelessly.

"You need to." She said, her voice soft. He closed his eyes for a moment then opened them and pressed his signature firmly into each page. As he finished he flipped the file closed and held it out to her. "I never thought we would end up like this," she said.

"No. Nor did I. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No, that's plenty. Thank you Kaidan, I really appreciate it." He nodded.

"I should go."

"It was good to see you," she said lamely. He stood and she hurried to join him, "if you change your mind about tomorrow just let me know."

"Thank you."

"Just... please don't tell anyone that I'm here. I'll seek out some of the crew but it's important. I don't like the attention."

"Fine," they hovered awkwardly by the door until she rolled her eyes and pulled him into a hug. He closed his eyes, his hand was buried in her hair, he could smell her shampoo, coconut. He held her body close to his, unwilling to let go. She didn't pull away, her heart thudded, she didn't want him to go. But she knew he had to. She stepped back.

"I am sorry it worked out like this. I am so glad that you're safe."

"I know, and I'm glad you're happy," he said it softly and she smiled. He left the room and closed the door behind him swiftly. He kept a brisk pace as he walked away conscious of the door guards watching him go. He had not expected this. He needed a drink. He needed to sleep for a week. He needed to find a way to forget.


	3. Chapter 3

Shepard lay in a large hotel bed, the early morning sunshine lit her face as she watched the sun rise over the brand new city. The buildings were bathed in golden light, it was beautiful, looking at the sight she would never have known than less than five years ago there was nothing but rubble where the towering structures now stood. Thomas lay behind her, snoring gently, his hand rested against her back.

The door creaked as it opened. She heard the sound of soft little feet on the carpet and smiled. The girl was clearly trying to be quiet. Shepard closed her eyes and pretended to be sleeping. A moment later she felt quick breathing on her face.

"Mama?" The voice was a loud whisper. Shepard opened her eyes. Bright amber eyes were looking back at her from a few inches away. Ella giggled in delight and bounded onto the bed landing hard on Shepard's stomach. Shepard grunted and Thomas groaned, rolling over and rubbing his eyes.

"Mama I saw dolphins!" She said excitedly, "and turtles and fishes!"

"Did you?! Wow, I'm sorry I missed it." Shepard said. Thomas raised himself up on an elbow.

"We went to an aquarium while you were out," he said sleepily, "Ella was in her element. But she was a bit disappointed we didn't see sheep, weren't you Ells?" Ella sat back with a serious expression.

"You said there were sheep on earth," she said a hint of reproach in her voice.

"There are," Shepard said, "and we'll make sure you see some before we leave. They just don't live in aquariums sweetheart." Ella looked doubtful.

"Hmmm," she said "can we go now?" Thomas pulled himself out of bed.

"Come on Ells, let's leave mama to rest, she's had a busy few days." Shepard mouthed a thank you at her husband as he scooped the child out of the bed. When they closed the door behind them she sat up and went to the wardrobe. Pulling out a top and jeans she slipped into them trying not to think about the day ahead.

She had to tell Thomas the truth, not the whole truth of course but at least some of it. There was no way around it. When they had met she had left out one or two details about her past. Kaidan was one of those details. Now she had no choice. If their marriage was invalid they had to remarry, there was no way she could talk him into that without explaining why.

"Laura, what do you want for breakfast?" Thomas' had appeared back in the doorway holding the room service menu in one hand and their son in the other. She smiled, the sight of him with the children always made her melt.

"Something with a lot of bacon," she said, "I was thinking we could get one of the hotel nanny's up to take care of the kids and we could eat on the balcony? I feel like I haven't seen you since we got here." He smiled.

"Sounds great, I'll make the arrangements." Shepard nodded and stepped outside. The morning air was already warm and she closed her eyes as she took a seat. Far too soon Thomas joined her holding two plates which he placed on the small table between them.

"This place is amazing," he said as he sat down, "I can't believe your company is paying for a suite for all of us." It wasn't, Shepard now worked part time for a self defense company that sold advanced home security systems, but it was the Alliance paying for the hotel. It was far more luxurious than they could have afforded without help.

"Hmm," she said non-noncommittally. "Tom I have something I need to tell you." She had decided to get it over with quickly, "you're not going to like it." He raised an eyebrow and sat back in his chair running a hand through his sandy hair and waiting patiently. "When we first met I was a bit of a mess." He laughed.

"Understatement of the century," he said, "it's not surprising after what you went through. The reaper war took its toll on a lot of people."

"I know, but I wasn't entirely transparent with you. The truth is that I was married once before." His face fell.

"What?"

"It was a long time ago, we were both young. It didn't last long, we were separated less than two months after we married. It didn't seem like there was any rush to get a divorce, after such a disaster neither of us were keen to jump into another marriage. He was a soldier with the Alliance, that was probably one of the things that meant it didn't work. During the reaper war he went missing, we were barely in touch in those days but technically I was his wife so I was notified. It's hardly a unique story, millions were 'going missing' every day. Still, the war ended and he was still missing. Eventually he was declared dead. I thought he was dead, so many people went missing and were never found. But now he's been found." Thomas leant forwards resting his head on his crossed fingers.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me this Laura?" He said sternly, "wait, is that why we're here? Hang on..." He stood and went back into the bedroom bringing back a datapad and flicking it on. He navigated to the front page of the news screen. Thomas put the datapad on the table between them and she looked down. The Normandy's arrival had been the top headline for a week. The front page was devoted to a picture of the ship in dry dock.

"Don't be ridiculous, they've brought in plenty of other ships this week. So many were stranded. He had nothing to do with the Normandy."

"You dragged our family across the galaxy to see your ex-husband without telling me?" Thomas said disbelievingly.

"That's about the size of it," she said candidly. "I needed to get him to sign some paperwork. Apparently because we never divorced and he wasn't dead I was technically still married to him. I had to get him to sign the divorce papers. Which he did."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Thomas repeated.

"I wanted to fix it before I told you, now that he's signed the papers it's not a problem."

"The fact that you've been lying to me since we met is a problem. Who is he then?"

"It doesn't matter now, it was five years ago. I love you Tom, this doesn't have to be an issue."

"So wait, are we married or not?"

"Not," she admitted, "but we can fix that any time."

"Laura... this is a big deal." She nodded shortly.

"I know Tom, but it doesn't need to be. I'm sorry I should have told you but it's all so far in the past." He stood.

"You rushing across the galaxy to see this man is not in the past!" He snapped turning back into the bedroom and closing the door on her with a slam. She leant forwards and buried her head in her hands.

***

Kaidan was drunk. He wasn't the only one. He was sat at a table in the dimly lit corner of a bar on the top floor of one of the skyscrapers in the centre of the city. Beside him Jack was downing shots while listening to Kaidan tell them, in slurred words, about his conversation with Shepard. Every so often Miranda would pat him on the shoulder awkwardly. Tali was leaning casually against Garrus' side as Liara animatedly told them and Vega about her plans to return and help with the reconstruction efforts on Thessia.

"She didn't even think she'd done anything wrong..." he said self pityingly.

"Hmmm," Miranda said noncommittally.

"I mean who even is this man? Y'know?" Kaidan paused expectantly, "that wasn't a rhetorical question. I actually want to know, what's he like?" Miranda exchanged a look with Jack.

"Never met him," Jack said bluntly, "none of us have." Miranda sipped her pink cocktail through a straw.

"We have a theory," she said with a grin, "there's something really wrong with him..."

"We're talking has to hide the mirrors in their house," Jack interrupted and Kaidan snorted.

"Or he's a drooling idiot." Miranda finished.

"That is her usual taste," Vega said with a grin, Kaidan raised his glass and executed a mock bow.

"I can't imagine Shepard having a husband none of us know," Tali said, clearly concerned.

"Well we know a bit," Miranda conceded, "he's a carpenter, one of these self-sufficient, back to basics types. Born and raised in frontier colonies. Hates space travel and cities, she always used that as an excuse not to bring him with her the few times she visited. Didn't explain why we couldn't visit them, but she always had a reason. I suppose some of them made sense, she wanted to keep a low profile and if all of Shepard's known associates started visiting a remote planet in the terminus systems it might have drawn attention."

"I am fucking discrete!" Jack protested.

"Drawn attention from who?" Garrus asked.

"Oh could be anyone," Jack said dismissively, "there's a list somewhere. Old merc gangs, reaper-worshipers, the indoctrinated no one has tracked down yet, pissed friends of the geth, ex-cerberus operatives, and a hell of a lot of batarians. I'm sure there are more."

"Are you really not going to see her before she goes back?" Liara asked Kaidan.

"D'you think I should?" He asked, taking another swig from his glass.

"I think you'll regret it if you leave it on unfriendly terms," Liara said. Kaidan turned back to Miranda.

"What do you think? Is there any chance of her leaving this guy?" Miranda's eyes widened.

"I don't know... I've never seen them together, I don't know anything about their relationship. But they've got kids." Kaidan waved a hand vaguely.

"Plenty of people have kids with someone they don't end up with. I have to try right?"

"That doesn't sound a good idea," Miranda said gently. Kaidan shook his head wildly.

"But surely I have to tell her how I feel? Give her the chance to chose?"

"It sounds like she's made her choice mate," Vega said awkwardly.

"Not necessarily. She hasn't seen me in five years, whereas she's with this guy all the time. It's hardly a fair comparison is it?" There was desperation creeping into his voice now.

"I don't think that's how these things work." Kaidan ignored Tali's concern.

"Look, I'm going to call her. We can talk this out," he was reaching for his omni tool as Garrus' talon came to rest on his arm.

"Kaidan think about what you are doing." He said calmly, "you are about to drunk dial a married mother to ask her to leave her husband." Kaidan glared at him, but slowly his expression softened and he slumped back in his seat.

"Yeah, that's a pretty shit idea when you put it that way. I just miss her y'know?" Vega rolled his eyes.

"What you need is to get laid," he said with a sympathetic smile. Kaidan raised went pink, hiding behind his drink.

"I don't think that's the answer to everything," Liara said awkwardly.

"Sure it is. Look, how long's it been since you were with another woman." Kaidan squinted as though thinking.

"S'been a long time." He admitted, Vega waited, "fine, a really long time. Eight years." Vega whistled.

"And she was dead for two of them and we were stranded for five years. Dude those were your prime years! It's time to start making up for lost time." Kaidan laughed.

"Lost time is lost, there's no making up for it. I'm impressed with myself just for being here rather than sulking in bed. Let's take things one step at a time." He finished his drink. "I think I'm going to go. I'm no fun tonight. This evening is on me." He flicked his credit chit down onto the table.

"You sure?" Jack asked, "the prices here are fucking steep." Kaidan shrugged.

"Turns out I own the place, well my family do," Vega looked around. Taking in the city views and the packed dance floor.

"Nice place," he said appreciatively.

"He doesn't mean the bar," Jack said mischievously, "he means the city." Kaidan shrugged at their stares.

"Not quite all of it," he protested, "but yeah most of it. My mother wanted to do something to help the Alliance rebuild so she donated a big chunk of land to build the new hq. Right in the middle of the land we owned. After the reapers, people wanted to be close to Alliance protection. So she rented out the land, before she really understood what was going on a few buildings turned into one of the largest cities on earth. All on our land. I haven't quite got my head around it yet." Jack grabbed the credit chit.

"Right, more drinks?" She said looking around eagerly. Kaidan slipped away quietly, looking back at them laughing and reminiscing fondly. He would miss them when they scattered about the galaxy.

***

Shepard sat on a swing chair on her veranda. One leg was curled up beneath her and the other dangled just above the floor. Baby Alex was sleeping in her arms and Ella was 'planting' flowers in the garden which seemed to involve digging them up and then burying them. They had returned home a month ago. Things had been tense with Thomas at first but as they had settled back into their lives he had seen that things had not changed between them and he had slowly relaxed.

Shepard looked down at Alex's scrunched up little face and smiled. She ran a finger down his soft, perfect cheek and wondered what he was dreaming about.

"Mama?" Ella's voice was uncertain. Shepard looked up and saw her standing in the middle of the lawn looking up at the roof.

"What's up Ells?" She asked pulling herself to her feet.

"I think I saw a monster," the girl said and Shepard smiled indulgently. She stepped towards the veranda steps.

"I'm sure it wasn't a monster..." she began. Ella screamed at the same moment that Shepard stepped out into the open. She felt a heavy weight hit her from above and fell forwards. Alex woke with a cry as he flew from her arms. Shepard's mind went blank, fear and panic flooding her as the little bundle landed on the grass.

As she landed the breath was driven from her by the weight on her back. Instinctively she rolled until the weight was beneath her driving her elbow into what felt like ribs. As she looked up she saw a turian squatting on the edge of the roof, a rifle in his hand. Without thinking she rolled again so that the batarian beneath her was between her and the turian. Her hand slipped out from beneath the batarian and her biotics flared, pulling the turian from the roof.

"Ella! Get your brother to the panic room!" She yelled as the batarian raised his arm, which was holding a gun. She forced his arm further up, keeping the muzzle away from her face. She was shaking, she knew she was fit and healthy but her military reflexes had dulled over the years. And she could hear her children screaming. She twisted her neck upwards, clamping the batarian's wrist between her teeth and biting down hard. The batarian grunted but did not drop the gun, she brought her knee upwards and jabbed it between the batarian's legs, pushing the body off her and diving for the veranda steps. Ella stood at the top, tears streaming down her face, Alex held in her arms, bawling.

"Inside, now," Shepard yelled through gritted teeth. She grabbed Ella's hand and dragged her in through the door, slamming it behind them as she heard the sound of boots hitting the ground behind her. She darted towards the bedroom, hitting a panic button hidden in the door frame as she went. Through the window she could see dark shapes, people in armor stalking through the surrounding woodland. Too many. As she slammed her palm onto the sensor that would open the panic room door she felt Ella jerked backwards, her hand slipping from hers. She whirled around. The turian from the roof had her daughter by the arm and a gun pointing at Shepard.

"Let them go." Shepard said in her calmest voice. "Now." The turian grinned and Shepard charged, throwing herself into him and flattening him to the floor. He dropped Ella's hand and the girl scuttled into the panic room. Shepard caught her breath, slamming into the hard weight of the turian without armor had driven her breath from her and she was struggling to recover. As she scrambled upright she saw two figures in armor entering the room, her eyes darted to the open panic room door.

"Don't try it," said the metallic voice of one of the figures, "you aren't fast enough." He was right, there was no way she could get inside and get the door closed before they fired and she couldn't bear the idea of them starting shooting with her children in such an enclosed space. She raised her hands slowly, showing that she was unarmed.

"Please, you can do what you want with me but leave the children." The turian, who had clambered to his feet, struggling for breath, spoke.

"You killed thousands of children, why should we spare yours?" He signaled to the figures behind him. Shepard dove backwards as they raised their guns, she felt the first shot hit her lower leg, the second went through her left forearm. She reached out with her right hand, her palm hitting the sensor as she fell. The panic room door slammed shut. She hit the floor hard, the pain starting to register. She looked up and her eyes met the barrel of the turian's gun, less than a foot from her right eye.

"Go on then," she spat, "get it over with." He laughed.

"Oh no," he said slowly, "it's not going to be that easy." He raised the gun and clubbed it down on her skull. Her world went black.


	4. Chapter 4

Garrus' face was grim as he watched the scene unfolding on the vid screen. The picture showed a poorly lit concrete room containing a single chair. Shepard slumped on the chair, she was hunched forwards, her head hanging to her chest. Her hair had been cut short and dyed back to its original red. She was naked and her skin was mottled with bruises. One arm and an ankle were in bandages. Her hands were tied behind her back and she showed no signs of consciousness.

As Garrus watched a figure entered the shot, a batarian, dressed casually and unarmed approached her. He gripped her hair and pulled her face sharply upward so the camera got a good look. Her eyes fluttered open briefly but she didn't resist. The batarian addressed the camera.

"This woman is a war criminal," he said matter of factly, his voice was calm, "and after years of hiding from justice she will be tried for her crimes. We are not barbarians and this is not a show trial. The proceedings will take place in public, evidence will be heard and the accused will have an opportunity to defend herself. It is time that the voices of the victims were heard. We invite you to bear witness. Proceedings will begin tomorrow. Be ready." The screen went black and Garrus hit replay.

"Garrus we don't need to see it again," Tali said. He hit pause and she got to her feet, pacing backwards and forwards. The vid had appeared online less than an hour ago and they had already watched it three times, searching for clues as to the location, the identity of the batarian, anything that could help them find her. If there was anything then they couldn't see it.

"We have to get her our of there," Tali said still pacing.

"Of course," Garrus agreed, he stood and took Tali's hand pulling her up short, "we will but you need to calm down. Getting angry won't help her."

"I know, I know," she said distractedly, "I'm sorry." He shook his head.

"No need to apologise. I feel the same but we need to think calmly. We need to reach out to the rest of the team, there will be plenty that want to help her. We need a plan."

"Liara will already have a plan," Tali said reaching for the screen controls. A moment later Liara's face filled the screen.

"You've seen it?" Garrus asked without preamble.

"Of course," Liara said, "I was about to call you. Let me patch the others in, give me a moment." Seconds later Liara's image was joined by those of Wrex, Kaidan, Miranda and Vega. All looked grave.

"Are we waiting for anyone else?" Miranda asked.

"No," Liara replied, "we can catch them up later. Go ahead Kaidan."

"Right, as I was saying, we've commandeered the Normandy. The Alliance doesn't like it but I'm technically still a spectre so there's nothing they can do about it for now."

"Least they can do..." Wrex rumbled darkly.

"They've sent a ship to the planet where she was taken," Kaidan said ignoring Wrex, "they are trying to find out how this happened and to secure her family. I am not inclined to leave it to them. Liara have you heard anything about the family?" Liara scowled.

"My sources aren't what they used to be but I think they're ok, there have been no reports of injuries at her house." Kaidan nodded.

"Beyond that I don't think the Alliance knows what to do yet. She's not military anymore so there's a limited amount of resources they are willing to put into finding her. I'm doing what I can to convince them to do more but I'm not sure I'm making much headway."

"This is bullshit," Vega said angrily, "if they let her die there'll be a mutiny."

"She's not going to die," Garrus said firmly.

"No," Kaidan agreed, "she's not. The ship is fit to fly, she'll be less than her best but she'll work, the engineers have been working on her non stop since we got back. We're leaving tonight, Tali, Garrus we'll pick you up at the relay nearest Shepard's house tomorrow, if you can get there by then?"

"Of course," Tali nodded.

"The krogan will be with you," Wrex said, "Shepard is one of us."

"That's great Wrex and it may come to that," Liara said, "but bringing a krogan fleet into the terminus systems is a recipe for war."

"Shepard cured the genophage, the krogan will go to war for her."

"And if we have to we will," Kaidan said, "but at the moment this isn't a war, it's a kidnapping, let's try to keep it that way." Wrex grunted.

"I don't like it." He said, "but we'll do it your way. For now."

"Thank you," Kaidan said, "Garrus we'll want you in charge of the investigation." Garrus nodded.

"Makes sense, won't be the first missing person I've located." Kaidan nodded, "right, there's a lot to do. We'll meet tomorrow." He terminated the message. Miranda placed a hand on his shoulder as he leant against Traynor's console.

"It'll be ok," she said softly, "we'll find her." He nooded.

"I know we will. We have to." A young woman approached carrying a data pad. Kaidan looked up and smiled as she joined them, noting her eyes resting on Miranda's hand on his shoulder, she didn't look pleased.

"Major, we're almost ready to go." She said, "just waiting for your friend Jack to join us."

"Well done Lieutenant Peters," he said standing straight and stretching, "Jack'll be here within the hour. How are the crew settling in?"

"They are doing well," she said, "we've got a mixture of the original Normandy crew members and those that were being trained to crew the ship. All ready and willing to serve." She looked Miranda up and down, "will you be joining us ma'am?"

"Yes, I'm an old friend of Shepard's." She smiled sweetly but her eyes were cold.

"This is Miranda Lawson," Kaidan said, "she'll be part of the ground team."

"Alright Kaidan," Peters said with a smile, "I'll make sure the crew knows." She turned, flicking her red pony tail as she did so.

"That one's trouble," Miranda muttered as she watched to girl leave. Kaidan chuckled.

"I know," he said, "she was part of the crew that was stranded. An absolute menance, had half the crew chasing after her. But she's good and what she does and that's what matters."

"Hmmm," Miranda said raising an eyebrow, "what's with this first name business?" Kaidan rolled his eyes.

"We were stranded for five years. Protocol stopped mattering pretty quickly. I know what you're getting at. The answer is no, and now isn't the time for questions like that." Miranda inclined her head.

"Fair enough, I'm going to check on Joker," Kaidan grimaced.

"If there was anyone else..."

"There isn't. No one half as good. Now come on, time to do what we do best." Kaidan nodded shortly and headed for the elevator.

He waited until he got to his cabin before losing his temper. As the cabin doors closed he slammed his fist into the wall. This wasn't right. The old crew were good. The best in fact. But they'd been out of action for too long. The Alliance should be sending teams of younger, fitter, faster people. Instead they sat arguing over what authority they had to act. He had spoken to Admiral Hackett but the man was now retired and said that while he had influence he had no power. Still he had agreed to speak to the other Admirals to persuade them to help Shepard. Kaidan didn't doubt that he would be successful but by the time he was it would be too late.

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply, trying to calm himself. It was as though the vid of Shepard, tied and helpless was playing on the inside of his eyelids. He couldn't stop seeing it. His insides had felt as though they had contracted as he had seen the bruises on her skin. He could not stop imagining how they had been inflicted. He vowed that whoever had hurt her would pay dearly. He just had to find them and he would make them sorry.


	5. Chapter 5

Thomas was becoming frustrated. He walked back and forth, gently bouncing Alex on his chest as he did so but the baby wouldn't stop crying. Ella was sitting on the floor by the coffee table while a young woman in Alliance uniform spoke softly to her. The woman had tried to get the girl to draw the people that had taken his wife but after a few attempts it had become clear that Ella was not artistically gifted. Now she was trying to coax the child into describing the events as clearly as possible. Meanwhile no one was telling Thomas anything.

He had arrived home from work last night to find his house a scene of chaos. The building was lit by floodlights and Alliance soldiers were swarming all over it. At first they had tried to stop him entering until someone had recognised him from a photograph on the wall. Once inside he had found his children in the company of soldiers, a sight he had never wished to see. Ella had rushed to him immediately in floods of tears. She had told him what had happened, that aliens had come and taken mama and he had felt his world collapsing around him. He had hugged Ella tightly as a sweet young woman had told him that they believed his wife had been kidnapped. He had asked why anyone would take his wife, they weren't rich, they couldn't pay any ransom, and she had looked at him as though he was mad. Then she had tentatively asked him some questions about Laura's background and how they had met. After a few minutes she had stepped away to speak urgently to a man who appeared to be her commanding officer. When she had returned she had led Thomas, now carrying Alex, and Ella into the sitting room.

Since then she was the only person that had spoken to him. She had fended off his questions with calming platitudes. No, she didn't know who was behind this. Yes, she was sure the Alliance were the appropriate people to be investigating. No, they didn't have any new information since Laura had vanished. Yes, there was a specialist team on their way and yes, they would be able to answer his questions.

That night had been one of the worst of Thomas' life. The children had cried for their mother. He had tried not to cry as he comforted them and tried to remain calm. The soldiers made his skin crawl. Like most human residents of the terminus systems he was a fierce individualist and resented the authority that the uniforms represented. When morning came they had been ushered back into the sitting room where they had remained ever since.

In response to the chirrup of an alert the woman with Ella opened her private comms channel. She pressed her hand to her ear answering a series of yes and no questions. When she disconnected she smiled at Thomas.

"The specialists I told you about have arrived. I'm just going to pop outside and brief them then I imagine someone will be in to speak to you." Thomas glared at her.

"It's about bloody time," he muttered. She smiled sympathetically, which only made his mood worse and excused herself.

***

Kaidan was standing on the front lawn looking at the house in disbelief. He would never have imagined Shepard living in a place like this. For one thing it was made almost entirely of wood, a material that offered almost no protection against modern weapons. There were French windows which, on the ground floor at least, opened onto the wide veranda. So many access points to cover, defensively it was a nightmare. And he could see no defences, no cameras, no alarms, no motion sensors. Nothing.

"This is madness," he muttered to the Alliance captain standing beside him. The man nodded shortly.

"She knew about the threats made against her. They were one of the reasons she left Earth and never went back. The Alliance made sure she knew when there was an increase in the number of threats we had picked up. I can't think why she would chose to live so unprotected." Kaidan turned his gaze away from the house.

"So where have you got to?" The Normandy had landed in a clearing a few clicks away less than an hour ago. Kaidan had hesitated before choosing the team to go ashore, he was not sure if he should go himself or if it would be more diplomatic to send others. In the end he had decided to go, Shepard's family would realise he was involved sooner or later and he might as well be up front about it.

"We've secured the area. The family are all accounted for and safely inside. We have patrols in the sky and teams interviewing people in the nearest town. It's a long shot but we might get lucky and find a helpful neighbour who saw something. We've done a preliminary search of the house and spoken to the daughter, she and the baby were the only witnesses."

"Anything useful?" Kaidan asked hopefully.

"Very little. From what the girl said the leader was turian but most were batarian. At least fifteen to twenty assailants, heavily armed. Nothing useful in the house yet."

"So what's the next step?"

"We've got people analysing the video but nothing useful so far. We need to interview the husband but there's a complication there." Kaidan waited for the man to continue.

"Well?" He asked when the silence became uncomfortable.

"They have no idea who she is," the man said quietly. "He thinks her name is Laura Cooper and that she used to be a low ranked quartermaster. We... haven't worked out what to tell him yet, we thought that it would be better coming from you. Because you knew her." Kaidan took a deep breath. Shepard's ability to hide from her personal problems was prodigious, but this was a whole new level. She had constructed a whole new life for herself, an entirely new past, based on a fantasy.

"You mean you haven't perused this investigation to the best of your ability to spare this man's feelings?" He said, anger rising.

"No, we think it's highly unlikely he knows anything. He wasn't here during the attack. And Commander Shepard clearly doesn't want him to know who she is, what if she turns up tomorrow and we've ruined her life for nothing?"

"What if she turns up dead," Kaidan hissed back, "and he knew something that could have helped save her?" Without waiting for a response Kaidan stalked across the lawn to where Garrus was on his knees examining the scuff marks left by a struggle.

"This investigation is a fucking joke," he said without preamble. Garrus pulled himself to his feet.

"I wouldn't say so. They appear to be doing a thorough job..."

"They haven't even spoken to her husband yet. Apparently she never told him who she was. He thinks she's called Laura and has no idea she saved the damned galaxy. They're more concerned with preserving his little delusion than with finding her." Garrus paused, suddenly the distance between Shepard and her friends made sense.

"That's not true Kaidan. Any of these people would give their lives for her to come back safely." Kaidan snorted.

"They think it'll be better coming from me," he laughed, "of course I'm the perfect person to break this kind of news."

"I'll do it of course," Garrus said and Kaidan nodded gratefully.

"Probably best not to mention our relationship. I wouldn't want my wife's ex husband to be the one in charge of rescuing her."

"Wait you think you're in charge?" Garrus asked and Kaidan rolled his eyes, "I mean... we only listen to you because you're the one with the ship. Don't let it go to your head."

"Thanks Garrus," Kaidan replied settling himself on the veranda steps and scanning the treeline as though expecting Shepard's kidnappers to emerge at any moment. Garrus clapped him on the shoulder and entered the house.

***

Ella had fallen asleep on the couch. Thomas sat quietly beside her, her hand resting on his. She had been so strong, he thought, so like her mother. That thought sent a pang of pain through him, he tried not to think what could have happened to Laura by now. She could be anywhere. They could have been slavers and she could be working a palladium mine by now. They could be traffickers and she could be... his mind balked at that thought. The door behind him opened and a tall, scarred turian entered. Thomas stood, settling Ella's hand onto her chest. He nodded towards the door and the turian followed him out.

"Garrus Vakarian," the turian said extending a hand. Thomas shook it warily.

"Thomas Cooper."

"Is there somewhere we can talk quietly Mr Cooper?" Thomas nodded towards the kitchen across the hall. From there he would be able to see if anyone entered the room where his children were sleeping. Thomas took a seat and the turian sat opposite him, watching him closely.

Garrus' eyes did not miss how Thomas positioned himself where he could see the door to the sitting room. Though his eye for such things was unsophisticated he could see that the man was handsome by human standards. Blonde hair, blue eyes, muscles developed from physical labour, skin lightly tanned from working outside. His eyes were red from lack of sleep and his hands were clenched into fists.

"I'm sorry, I should offer you a drink," Thomas said after a moment. Garrus raised a hand.

"No need. I imagine you'd rather get on with things." Thomas smiled briefly.

"That would be a refreshing change yeah." Garrus nodded.

"Very well. Now Mr Cooper I am part of a team investigating your wife's disappearance. I have a few questions for you before we discuss how we're going to approach this going forwards. First can you tell me if there's anything out of the ordinary that's happened in the last few months? Doesn't matter how small." Thomas thought for a moment.

"Yeah... yeah it's been a strange few weeks. I recently found out that she'd been married before. We're usually pretty open with each other you know? We talk about everything but I had no idea. She saw him, the ex husband I mean, last month. They hadn't seen each other in years but we went to Earth so she could sort out some paperwork to do with their divorce. I never met him but I've been wondering, it's the only thing that's been different. I mean, could this have something to do with him?"

"We don't think so," Garrus said calmly, "we'll look into every possible lead but we are aware of her ex-husband and don't have any reason to think he's involved."

"You're sure?" Garrus nodded.

"Yes, we don't think this is a jealous ex kind of crime. Besides we know his whereabouts when she was taken and currently. We can't find anything to link him to this. As I said we'll keep everything under review but as things stand he's not a suspect. Is there anything else? Anything at all could help."

"No..." Thomas said after a pause, "there's nothing I can think of. I have no idea why someone would do something like this." Garrus nodded sympathetically.

"We have some ideas," he said gently and Thomas looked up sharply. "There are some things that I need to tell you which will come as a bit of a surprise. I understand you met your wife shortly after the reaper war?"

"Yeah, about ten, eleven months later. Why?"

"Her life before we met you was somewhat different from what we think you've been led to believe. First her name was not Laura, it was Alexa Shepard." Garrus watched Thomas' reaction. His eyes widened for a moment and then he smiled.

"Is this a joke?" He asked incredulously.

"No," Garrus replied, "it's not a joke. I knew your wife before the battle on Earth and I saw her when she came to Earth last month. It was definitely Shepard. That's why the Alliance is here in such numbers. She was taken because of who she is. The people who have her intend to try her for war crimes."

"This makes no sense," Thomas said in bewilderment.

"I understand it is difficult to take in," Garrus said, "I am sure this is a shock."

"A shock? Yes... it is. I don't understand why she would..." Thomas trailed off.

"I didn't see her after the battle on Earth so I can't say for sure but she was struggling for a while before that. She was under a lot of pressure. We did what we could to help her but I can't say I'm surprised she ran away when she could." Thomas nodded wordlessly.

"I can see that. But I don't see why she wouldn't have told me..."

"I'm just speculating," Garrus said carefully, "but I think she would have thought you would have seen her differently if you'd known." Thomas snorted.

"Well I certainly would have done. I mean... she seemed so fragile when we met. I always felt like she needed my protection. She must have thought I was such a fool."

"I'm sure that's not true. She clearly loves you."

"How would you know that?" Thomas snapped.

"As I said I saw her on Earth last month. The way she spoke about you made it pretty clear how she felt." Thomas shook his head.

"How could she do this? She knows how I feel about the Alliance... I'm sorry." Garrus shrugged.

"I'm not Alliance," he said, "I don't care how you feel about them. I care about getting Shepard back safely. I'm sure you'll need some time to take this in but if you think of anything at all that could be relevant then please let me know. In the meantime I'd like to get you and your children somewhere better protected." Thomas looked around.

"There are soldiers everywhere," he noted.

"Yes, but not ones we know and trust. I am sure that they mean well but for Shepard's family we can do better."

"You think we're really in danger?" Garrus met his eye.

"It's definitely possible. From what I've read of what your daughter described the kidnappers tried to take the children as well. Clearly Shepard was their main target but we can't rule out the possibility that they'll come back for you. Having you as hostages would certainly make Shepard easier to control." Taking in Thomas' panicked expression Garrus smiled, "we can protect you. I promise you that I will not allow anything to happen to you or your children. If you agree we can leave today."

"And go where?"

"Tuchanka. Shepard has friends there and the krogan would do anything for her."

"You think we'd be safer with the krogan?" Thomas asked skeptically.

"Absolutely. If you can get your things together we can get you on the ship tonight. I'd like to spend some more time looking around to see if I can find anything helpful but we should be able to leave before morning."

"Ok..." Thomas said. He felt like the world was shifting beneath his feet, like he was being carried away by things he didn't understand. "I guess I'll get packing." Garrus stood.

"Thank you. We will find her. Trust me." Thomas nodded distractedly as he too rose to his feet. "Can you show me the safe room?" Garrus asked.

"Of course, follow me," he led Garrus through the hallway and towards the bedroom. The door to the safe room was open, revealing harsh metal which looked out of place in the soft house. An Alliance technician was scanning the doorway for any marks left by the attackers. As he went to enter the room Garrus' eye was caught by a picture on the dresser. He picked it up. The photograph showed Ella kneeling up on a chair at a table. Shepard was leaning on the back of the chair smiling at the camera. Ella's cheeks were inflated as she took a deep breath, ready to blow out the four little candles on the birthday cake in front of her.

"When was this taken?" Garrus asked, counting backwards in his head. Thomas looked up from pulling a suitcase out of the cupboard.

"Oh Ella's birthday. So what, five months ago or so. Why?"

"Just curious," Garrus said putting the picture back down on the dresser. Ella's cake was iced in a a pale blue, clearly home made. But it wasn't the color that had caught Garrus' attention. It was the fact that it was shaped like a large, slightly wonky, number four.


	6. Chapter 6

Shepard's vision was spinning. She couldn't think clearly. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. She was dressed in a clean white shirt and plain black slacks but she couldn't remember having got dressed. Every part of her hurt but it was a dull ache, distant like it wasn't really her pain at all. A light was shining into her face, far too bright. She could hear someone crying nearby but couldn't focus on the tears and the words that were spoken through them.

She was dimly aware that they were going to kill her. Like the pain it didn't seem to matter very much. Her children's faces fluttered across her distracted mind but she couldn't focus on them. At the back of her mind she was raging, fighting against the drowsiness and her own inactivity but the drugs coursing through her system were definitely winning. A plan, that was what she needed. But thinking was such an effort, every time she tried the pain got worse and she retreated back into her stupor.

Around her there was a rumble from the crowd that she could only vaguely see. She looked around, trying to focus. Hundreds of eyes looked back at her. None were friendly. She knew she had to steel herself, to bring back some of the strength that she had once had. But that had been so long ago.

Ella looked up at the gleaming hull of the Normandy, her mouth was open in wonder. She clutched Thomas' hand tightly, half afraid, half excited. She had never seen anything like it. The ship that had taken them to Earth was a hulking great transport. The contrast with the sleek, elegant Normandy was vast. The turian who was friends with mama walked a few metres ahead of them, leading the way up the ramp leading into the ship. Ella was still a little wary of him, the last turian she met had not endeared them to her, but she was also fascinated, watching the way he walked with scientific interest.

"Daddy," she whispered loudly, "do you think I'll get to play with the aliens?"

"No sweetheart, they're working to find mama," Ella nodded seriously, she could see that was important.

"And then we'll go get her on the ship?" She asked.

"Not us Ells. We're going to go somewhere safe so that the people that took mama can't find us. Then the soldiers will find mama," Ella frowned at that.

"But how will they know when they've found her?"

"They have pictures Ells, and some of them are her friends. They'll take good care of her." Ella's questions ceased as they entered the airlock. She bit her lip as she took in the space suits hanging against the wall and all the flashing lights. A million questions formed in her curious mind. She looked with wide eyes at the soldiers milling around her.

"This way," the turian said, turning left as they entered the main body of the ship. As they emerged into the cockpit Ella let go of Thomas' hand and rushed forwards, leaning her little hands on the consoles and looking out of the windows.

"Daddy I can see our house!" She said pointing excitedly. Joker had watched her rush past and smiled indulgently as she tried to clamber onto the console.

"This must be the mini-Shepard," he said to Garrus who now stood at his shoulder.

"I'm not a shepherd." Ella said indignantly. "I'm Ella."

"Nice to meet you Ella." Joker said seriously.

"I'm sorry," Thomas apologised, "Ella don't touch anything." He was looking around warily. He didn't like technology and he hated being in an Alliance warship so the bridge of the Normandy represented something of a perfect storm.

"It's ok," Joker said, "I'll make sure she doesn't launch any missiles or crash into any moons." Ella's eyes grew even wider and she slowly removed her hands from the console as though it might explode.

"We're looking for Kaidan," Garrus said. Joker shrugged.

"He went to the conference room in a foul mood. The kidnappers sent another vid so the team's got the popcorn out and is watching it for the fifteenth time."

"What?" Thomas asked, " _another_ vid?"

"Thanks Joker," Garrus said ruefully. Joker winced.

"Sorry, didn't think."

"We'll fill you in once we're in the air." Garrus said to Thomas, "I just need to let the captain know you're boarded and we'll get underway."

"It's not acceptable for you to keep things from me. This is my wife we're talking about."

"We're not keeping things from you," Garrus said calmly, "we just haven't finished telling you everything yet. This way."

Kaidan paused the vid on a closeup of Shepard's face. She looked better than in the first vid, she was clean and clothed and her hair framed her face neatly. But her eyes were blank and unfocused. The vid showed highlights of what was clearly hours of testimony about what had happened in the Bahak system. Shepard had reacted to none of it, staring into space as though thoroughly disinterested. Kaidan knew better. He had comforted her through enough nightmares to know how she felt about Aratoht. Three hundred thousand dead because of her. Sure she had done the right thing but that didn't change the facts.

"Anyone seeing anything useful?" Miranda asked the assembled team.

"Nothing," Tali said, her voice subdued. Kaidan shook his head, his hands gripped the edge of the table tightly.

"We're bringing aboard the files from her house, there may be something there," Vega said without enthusiasm.

"Yeah, if she kept files on her kidnappers," Miranda said sceptically.

"The best hope is the tech teams finding something in the vids," Kaidan said, "if they don't... well if they don't we'll tear apart every batarian colony and merc base in the galaxy until we find her." He looked up as a movement outside the glass wall caught his eye. A young girl was pressed against the glass, her eyes fixed on the image of Shepard's face. "Shit, turn it off," he snapped nodding at the girl, "they don't need to see this." Miranda clicked the off button.

"Do you want me to get rid of them?" Traynor asked. Kaidan bit his lip, he couldn't take his eyes off the child. Her eyes were Shepard's. The colour was different but the shape and the expression were all her. Behind her Garrus came into view with a man carrying a baby in his arms. Those of the crew who knew had been warned not to mention Shepard and Kaidan's relationship but the thought of the man living aboard the Normandy, the place where he and Shepard had made their home, was uncomfortable.

"Yes, get them settled in somewhere." Kaidan said. Traynor hurried out of the room and began speaking quickly to Garrus. The man was gesticulating at where the image of Shepard's face had been a moment before. Garrus raised his hands clearly trying to calm the situation.

"Kaidan maybe we should..." Miranda began.

"Fine," Kaidan said exhaling quickly, "let him in but not the kids." Miranda stood and joined the group in the corridor. A moment later Traynor was accepting the baby from the man and waving the young girl over to follow her. As they disappeared out of view Garrus opened the door, gesturing for the man to enter the room. He marched in angrily and Kaidan looked him up and down. Attractive, perhaps a little older, tired and furious.

"This is Mr Cooper," Garrus said formally, "Shepard's husband. That's Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, over there is Lieutenant James Vega, this is Miranda Lawson, the one with the tattoos is Jack, that's Doctor Liara T'Soni and that's Major Kaidan Alenko, technically speaking he's in charge."

"Right," Thomas said slightly taken aback, "I want to know everything that's going on right now. I'm done with people treating me like an idiot. My wife is missing and I want to know how you're going to find her." He pulled out a seat aggressively and sat down, waiting impatiently.

"Show him the vids," Kaidan said taking his own seat. They started with the first one. Kaidan didn't watch it, instead keeping his eyes on Thomas. The man's anger deflated almost immediately as the vid played. No one spoke as he listened to the accusations and then the witnesses testimony. By the time that the vid faded to black Thomas was slumped in his chair blinking back tears.

"I heard about Aratoht," Thomas said into the silence, "I thought at the time that it was typical Alliance arrogance, thinking alien lives didn't matter as much as human lives." Kaidan raised an eyebrow at Vega but didn't speak.

"Shepard never cared whether they were human lives or not," Liara said stiffly, "she just cared that they were lives."

"She had no choice, she had to give us time to prepare for the reapers. She took it hard." Garrus said.

"Is that true?" Thomas said pointing at the screen, "three hundred thousand dead?"

"Yes," Liara said, "more or less." Thomas rubbed his eyes. He couldn't take in that he'd been married to the woman and known so little about her past.

"So how are you going to find her?" He said finally. They exchanged looks, eventually Kaidan leant forwards.

"To be honest we don't know yet," he said plainly, "we're doing everything that we can. There are teams of hundreds looking at all of the threats that have been made against her. More people are looking at the vids and you've seen the work being done to see if they left any clues at your home. You should know that it's going to need some luck, there's a possibility that we won't get to her in time. We don't know exactly what the kidnappers are planning. We don't know how long this trial of theirs is going to last but we can be pretty certain how they intend to end it. That's the bad news. The good news is that we are extremely good at what we do. Shepard is like family to every one of us and we will do absolutely everything within our power to find her."

"That's not as reassuring as you seem to think it is," Thomas said and Kaidan shrugged.

"It's all we've got for now. But we'll get more, it's only a matter of time before we find something."

"Please find her," Thomas said, clearly holding back tears, "we need her. I couldn't... we wouldn't know what to do without her. Whatever she was in the past... that's not who she is now. She's not a soldier. She's a woman, a mother, who needs help." Kaidan took a deep breath.

"We will do everything possible. Any of us would die without hesitation if it would help her. Try not to worry too much, we will find her." Thomas nodded and stood.

"Thank you," he said, holding out a hand. Kaidan hesitated and then shook it, not meeting Thomas' eyes as he did so.

"Right let's get this underway," Kaidan said, dropping Thomas' hand and heading for the door, "Vega tell Joker to get us in the sky. Garrus, the papers from the house will be brought here for you to look at, anything you find, no matter how small, I want to know."

"Miranda, can I borrow you for a moment?" Garrus asked as she moved to leave.

"Of course," she said letting the others file out.

"I have a question about human biology," he asked awkwardly. Miranda frowned and leant against the glass of the door.

"Right, are you sure this is the time?" He ignored her mischievous smile and carried on.

"Human gestation is nine months isn't it?" He asked.

"Usually," she replied, "it wouldn't be longer but sometimes babies are born earlier. They tend to have health problems and be smaller than other children their age if they're born too soon but the differences usually even out in the long term."

"How much earlier can they be born?"

"And survive? The youngest was a bit under five months. But that would be pretty unusual. Why the sudden interest?" Garrus squinted as he counted backwards. Five months would mean that it was possible that Ella was Thomas', he couldn't know for sure.

"Just interested, I haven't seen many human babies before," he said lamely. Miranda's eyes narrowed and then her eyes widened

"Garrus... how old is that little girl?" Garrus scowled.

"Shepard told Kaidan she was three," he said evasively.

"She's pretty big for a three year old..." Miranda said doubtfully, "Garrus... are you saying..?"

"She had her fourth birthday about five months ago." Miranda swore under her breath and sat down at the table.

"Does Kaidan know?" She asked after a moment.

"No and we're not going to tell him," Garrus said firmly.

"Garrus we can't..." she protested.

"We have to. We don't know anything for sure and we need him focus. If it's true, if he is her father then Shepard should be the one to tell him. If she's not... if she's not in a position to tell him when this is over then we can reconsider but for now this stays between the two of us." Miranda crossed her arms.

"That's all very well Garrus but if she's not Thomas' kid it would only take one word in the wrong place for him to put it together. God, she even looks like him..." she muttered.

"We don't know." Garrus repeated. "We can't know for sure."

"We could," Miranda said thoughtfully, "it would just take a quick DNA test."

"You don't have Thomas' consent to test the girl and you won't get it." Miranda shrugged.

"I don't need it. I think we're beyond that." Garrus shook his head.

"We would be if it was relevant to the investigation. It isn't." Miranda ran a hand through her hair.

"Kaidan should know Garrus," she said simply.

"Yes and he will. Just not now."

"Fine, but when he finds out it's your neck on the line. Not mine." She warned darkly.


	7. Chapter 7

Jenna Peters sat in the Normandy's mess. She had her datapad propped on a mug in front of her as she shovelled pasta into her mouth with the enthusiasm only the young and skinny could pull off. Shepard's disappearance was still front page news on every channel, the release of the new vid had set off a debate about whether Shepard should have faced charges after the reaper war. The majority view seemed to be that the idea was ridiculous. Shepard had saved them all and to punish her for it was ludicrous. Around the fringes though were different opinions. Jenna closed the news and flicked back to her messages.

In truth she was barely paying attention to what she was reading. Instead her eyes were focused on the back of Thomas Cooper's head as he ate with his daughter at a table on the other side of the mess. When the message had been circulated telling those in the know to keep quiet about Shepard and Kaidan because Shepard's new family were coming aboard she had almost dropped her datapad. Her mind had started working at double speed. Shepard had remarried. That meant...

Her eyes narrowed as Kaidan emerged from Liara's quarters. She had watched him enter an hour before and had been eating extra slowly ever since. She bounded to her feet and reached the elevator just as the doors were about to close. She darted in through the diminishing gap and grinned at Kaidan.

"Evening," she said casually and he nodded, barely looking up from the papers he was reading. The elevator moved upwards infuriatingly slowly before coming to a halt outside Kaidan's cabin. He looked up seeming to notice for the first time that she hadn't left.

"I thought you could use someone to talk to," she said. He sighed heavily.

"Not tonight Peters, it's been a very long day."

"Exactly the kind of day you need someone to have a drink with you after." She rolled her eyes at his reluctant expression. "C'mon Kaidan, I'm not going to jump you."

"Really?" He asked, "it wouldn't be the first time." She crossed her arms.

"Yeah well that was back when we were stranded. I had a limited population to chose from." He laughed.

"Ok, fine, one drink," he led her through to his quarters and gestured for her to take a seat before excusing himself and entering the bathroom. Jenna looked around, the room was immaculate, she ignored the chair and perched briefly on the edge of the bed. She allowed herself to fall backwards onto the sheets and ran her hand over the soft fabric breathing in the scent of his bed. As she heard the lock for the bathroom click open she scrambled to her feet and settled herself onto the couch.

He emerged having changed out of his uniform and into a plain white t shirt and jeans. He watched as she reached into the drinks cabinet and drew out a bottle and two glasses. As she poured he sank into the other couch and let out a long exhale.

"So," she said extending a glass to him, "how's meeting your replacement going?" Kaidan chuckled grimly.

"It's hell. I'm sure he's a perfectly nice guy but all I keep thinking is whether anyone would notice if he accidentally fell out of the airlock." Jenna laughed.

"I'd go garbage disposal," she said, watching him over the rim of her glass, "far less chance of witnesses down there."

"You know what really gets me? He has no idea who he married," Kaidan said downing his drink and pouring another. "He doesn't have a clue how fucking awesome she is. If I'd lost her to someone who appreciated her in all her glory it'd be easier but he's trying to tell me she's not a soldier she's 'just a mother'. The guy is talking about Commander fucking Shepard. And he's trying to tell me who she is? Yesterday he didn't even know her fucking name!" He let out a grunt of frustration and threw his head back against the back of the couch.

"Yeah that's a bitch," Jenna said slipping out of her shoes and curling up her feet beneath her.

"And the cherry on top? He hates the Alliance. Shepard always says the Alliance saved her from the streets, made her what she was. And he dismisses all that without any idea what he's talking about. One of these fucking hippy pacifists that thinks we should have just sat down and talked it out with the reapers." Jenna snorted.

"It's super easy to hate the Alliance when you have the luxury of knowing it'll always be around to protect you."

"Exactly!" Kaidan said sitting up, "he'd be running around as a husk or turned into reaper sludge by now without the Alliance. I'm sorry you don't need to hear my bitching."

"I don't mind, it's part of the whole giving you someone to talk to thing." Kaidan didn't need any more encouragement. He leant forwards and refilled her glass.

"You know he told Garrus he built their fucking house as a wedding present? Who does that? I mean there are perfectly good houses all over the place, just buy one like a normal person."

"I think that's the rich in you talking," Jenna said with a raised eyebrow and he waved a dismissive hand.

"Fine, rent one whatever. Just don't build a completely indefensible pile of wood in the middle of nowhere and then assume it'll be safe for one of the most hunted people in the galaxy to live there."

"To be fair to him he didn't know that she was one of the most hunted people in the galaxy..." Jenna mused and Kaidan pulled a face.

"Erm where did you get the impression that we were being fair? The man is my ex-wife's new husband, I don't want to be fair. I used up all my fairness to his face, now is the time to bitch behind his back." Jenna raised her hands defensively.

"Ok, ok, sorry I wasn't completely up to speed with the programme. He has... stupid hair?" Kaidan pointed at her and nodded.

"That's what I'm looking for," he said taking another slug from his drink and upending the bottle into his glass. "And now I'm expected to drop everything and run all across the galaxy looking for her. After the way she treated me? Everyone else got off that ship to find hugs and love waiting for them, what did I get? Divorce papers. I mean she was literally waiting with them when we landed." Jenna gasped.

"Shit, that's cold," she said sympathetically.

"Well I thought so..." he trailed off. Jenna sensed his mood darkening and tried to distract him.

"So here's a question," she said looking down at her drink, "why didn't you tell me when you found out she'd remarried?" Kaidan frowned.

"Why would I?" He asked bluntly.

"You didn't think that was information I would be interested in," Kaidan shrugged.

"Not particularly," Jenna shook her head.

"Sometimes Kaidan you are so dense. You didn't think I'd be interested in the fact that you're now single?" Kaidan stared at her feeling his cheeks reddening.

"I guess I haven't really felt single yet," he said haltingly.

"Well you are," she said, "you're divorced. And I think I made it pretty clear I'd want to be informed if that happened."

"That was years ago..." Kaidan said as his pulse quickened.

"Yeah, so what? Nothing's changed. Except that you're not married anymore." Kaidan took another drink to cover for the fact that he didn't know what to say.

 _She had first kissed him when they were on a hunting trip together about three years after the crash. She, Kaidan and four others had left the safety of the wreck of the Normandy and gone out in search of food. She had darted through the trees ahead of him with a grace that had reminded him of Shepard._

 _He had know that the way he felt about her was dangerous. She was young and beautiful and his body had wanted hers in a way that he hadn't felt for a long time. She was not subtle with her attention and he was flattered by her constant interest. The others could all see what was happening between them but they were all too polite, or too scared of his reaction, to comment._

 _It was the third night of the hunting trip that she crept into his tent in the middle of the night. He hadn't heard her and was woken only as she slipped into his sleeping bag beside him. She pressed a finger to his lips and he kept quiet, well aware that the fabric of the tent was not noise proof._

 _"What are you...?" He whispered._

 _"Ssshh," she muttered in response wrapping her arms around him. He let his arms come to rest around her waist. Her lips had met his, slowly, tentatively then harder as he didn't resist. He had kissed her back, his body responding eagerly and his mind failing to resist._

 _"Mmm Kaidan..." she sighed beneath her breath, "I want you so badly." He rolled onto his back so that she came to rest on top of him. His hands went to her breasts, covered only by her thin tank top. She leant down and kissed his neck, biting gently and he ran his hands down her back to cup her perfectly smooth ass. She moaned gently as she felt him harden beneath her._

 _"Kaidan..." she sighed, "I love you." He froze, his heart was racing in his chest and his body was screaming for him to continue. It had been so long._

 _"Jenna I'm sorry," he whispered, "I can't do this." She had sat up, the motion making him gasp, and stared down at him in the dim light._

 _"What do you mean?" She whispered, a hint of panic in her voice._

 _"I'm still married. Until I know what happened to Shepard I can't risk messing things up with us. She is... everything to me."_

 _"Kaidan it's been three years," she replied in disbelief._

 _"It wouldn't make a difference if it had been 30," he whispered more firmly._

 _Jenna had tried to reason with him. She had begged him. She had cursed him for a fool but in the end she had seen that he was firm. She had cried softly as she made her way back to her own tent. From then on neither of them had mentioned the incident and over time the hurt and the humiliation had faded. Her feelings had not._

Kaidan finished his drink and put it down on the table between them.

"I thought you and Vega...?" She shook her head.

"That was just a casual thing to convince myself, and everyone else, that I was over you. It didn't work." She met his eyes and meaningfully ran them down his body.

"Jenna you're too young for me," he said bluntly.

"Many men would see that as a good thing," she said, switching to sit beside him on his couch with a wicked smile.

"For a fling maybe," he conceded, "but I'm getting the impression you're looking for something more than that." She cocked her head on one side.

"Honestly Kaidan I'll take what I can get," she let her hand come to rest on his knee.

"That wouldn't be fair to you," he muttered, eyes half closed.

"Let me worry about what's fair to me," she breathed as she ran her hand higher.

"Jenna," he gasped. She smiled.

"Yes Kaidan," she said innocently as she unbuttoned his pants.

"Wait," he groaned grabbing her hand before she could go any further. Her heart sank, there was no way he could be rejecting her like this again.

"Did you know," he said matter of factly, "that I haven't had sex in five years?" She laughed huskily.

"And that is a crime," she said, leaning closer as though to kiss his neck.

"And that's one of the many reasons that it's very difficult to say no to you right now." She pulled back, pouting.

"So don't say no," she said childishly.

"I have to," he said, hating himself as the smile vanished from her face. "You are beautiful Jenna, really, and you're sweet and smart and capable and I am very lucky, and a bit baffled, to be someone you'd want to do this with. But I'm just not ready. If we did this now it would just be sex. That's not fair on you, if I wanted that I'd go to a bar and find someone I didn't care about. I'm not saying never, I'm just saying not yet. When this is over let's go for dinner, take things slow, do it right. If we did it now it wouldn't be for the right reasons." She perked up a little at his words.

"You are infuriating," she said and he smiled wryly.

"I know, my body is telling me exactly the same thing." She stood up and stretched, he tried, and failed, not to look at her body as she did so.

"Right, I'm going to take a long shower," she said.

"There's an image I didn't need," Kaidan muttered.

"I'm holding you to this though," she said sternly, "dinner, doing things properly. I'm not going to let you conveniently forget." He rolled his eyes.

"I'm not going to forget Jenna." When she had left he pressed his forehead against the cold metal of the closed door, gritting his teeth. Part of him wanted to call her back, another part wanted to tell her he couldn't consider dating yet. Most of him was simply tired and lonely. And no part of him could change the fact that when he closed his eyes it was still his ex-wife's face that filled his fantasies.


End file.
